✈ ✈ xanyx ✈ ✈

I named this blog 'What fear of flying?' because its opposite day.

I'm actually completely terrified of flying. 

I'm lying in bed typing this right now because I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about how I am flying for the first time in a year tomorrow and I don't want to have to be conscious during the take off/duration/landing and I can't stop thinking about how not only do I have to do it for 10 hours, but I also have to do it again after that for 2 more on a smaller plane to actually get to Dresden, then I have to do it again to get home 2 more times and there will be turbulence and crying infants with parents who don't try to hush them and the food is never good or enough to feel full and my ears will pop and I'll have to try to sleep when my blood pressure will be sky high and every second I'll be anticipating the part where we're crashing & I'll either be on the part of the plane that dies, or the part of the plane that lands on a magic island & I'll have to wait 6 seasons to find out if I'm going to heaven or not.

BUT. 

My heart begs for travel. 

I can't imagine a life of staying in only 1 city?!?! gross.  

I'm happiest when I'm exploring new places.

So, I'm doing that. This fear is just going to have to be a phase I'm going though (for the last 5 years) because no matter how my plane panic attacks plays out, eventually my feet will hit the ground in a new place every time. And that keeps me buying plane tickets.

[current thought(s) - OOOOOH MY GOSH/Shut up Kathleen you're doing it anyway.]